thoughts on Omer

Counting the Omer teaches that the journey is at least as important as the destination. We focus on counting for forty-nine days without rushing towards Sinai and Torah. This slow quiet process builds a sense of inner faith. As a people we remember that even slaves can stand up, shake off shackles and walk towards Torah. It is not only the heroes of the story that matter; Moses, Aaron and Miriam might lead us, but we freely choose to follow.

This past year I counted the Omer during a difficult personal time. My mother was ill, I was flying between Denver and Los Angeles while teaching, working, helping my husband graduate, helping my brother manage his fears, hosting an Israeli cousin and raising a puppy. Often the only quite time I had was either on an airplane (unless I was grading papers) or before bed as I counted the Omer.

My big concerns were calmed by a small action. My large looming fears and frustrations were comforted by a simple process. I realized I did not need to have the answer and solutions. I just needed to show up and do the work presented to me. Interestingly, during this time I received a bracelet I had ordered from the Cardo in Jerusalem engraved with the biblical sayings associated with my Hebrew names: Chava Rachel. Chava is associated with Proverb 31: “She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her task.” Rachel is associated with Deuteronomy 32: “See now that I myself am He! There is no G-d besides me. I put to death and I bring to life, I have wounded and I will heal, and on one can deliver out of my hand.”
The message coincided with the message of the Omer. It is my job to show up, but I am not in charge of the process. I am an important musician, but not the conductor of the orchestra. The questions that haunt me have answers in quiet practice, in Torah and in mitzvoth.

The counting of the Omer reminded me that what I do, what all of us do matters more than the title we wear. Small everyday quiet actions matter. The choices I make daily can lead me toward holiness. My individual actions count within a nation of people walking from slavery to choice, narrowness to open mindedness, from sin to Torah. The task is to open to receiving through simple counting, study and learning, all of which brings me closer to G-d.
A frightened exhausted people left Egypt, just as I found myself frightened and exhausted over the tasks before me. The Omer taught me to start with the fear inside me, to leave Egypt, and that the courage will come. We can start with doubt, reach the sea that blocks our way, step into the waters and as the waters part the faith will come. We can start with counting and Torah will come.

The powerful message of counting the Omer is buried in a story about the Baal Shem Tov, who on a voyage to save the Jewish people forgot every prayer and every bit of Torah. The story takes place in the time frame of the first day of Pesach to the seventh day, when the Baal Shem Tov is returned home (interestingly, it is on this seventh day that the Israelites crossed the Reed Sea). His scribe (or daughter depending on the version of the story) who was traveling with him could only remember the aleph- bet. In Hebrew the aleph- bet represent a form of counting since numbers are represented by letters. The letters inspired the Baal Shev Tov,

“As soon as R. Israel Baal Shem Tov heard that R. Hersh still remembered the alphabet, he told him, "Good, say the letters for me!" R. Hersh began to recite, "Alef, beis, gimel, daled, hei...." And the Baal Shem Tov repeated every word with great fire. R. Israel Baal Shem Tov said, "Ribono shel Olam, Master of the world: Do You need the prayers of a simple person who is called Israel? If so, I am reciting the letters before You, and You, merciful Father in heaven, braid them Yourself into a wreathe of prayers!" (Shulman, Y.D, 2001)

And with this the Baal Shem Tov and his scribe were saved. Clearly a small act with great intentions can shift the world, which is why this story is told on the last (8th) day of Passover following afternoon prayers during the Baal Shem Tov’s feast. This is the end of the first week of the counting of the Omer, and hence marks the end of the first cycle of sevens.
It is through counting that the Baal Shem is saved. It is through counting that we are returned to our union with G-d and holiness. It is through the simple act of counting that we find our way when we are lost. It is through the simple act of counting the Omer that we find Refuah and T’shuva.